Struggling with God

I just don't get God sometimes.....In fact this morning I got darn right angry at him for something He allowed way back in Genesis. Some friends and I are reading the Bible in a year together. It has already proven to be a great growth thing for me in understanding the the character of God, which for me I guess I just don't get. So, today was the reading of Jacob and Esau. And it seems so unfair. While ok, let's be honest, Esau was probably not the brightest light in the place. Could he really have been that hungry to give up his birthright?? He must have been real hungry or not very strong willed or Jacob again was just being a bully.
"I will not give you any food unless you give me your birthright." I can just imagine it. Anyway, but then that Jacob and his mother would deceive his father into giving him the blessing of becoming a great nation when it rightfully belonged to Esau. AND that this is where God's people, Israel, will come from. God's people came from deception. God blessed the deceiver. It seems so strange. Then, God not only allows his people to come from Jacob's line, but then changes his name to Israel, and that God's people would forever be known as Israelites. It's crazy...... I just don't get it. I mean, why aren't they called the nation of Abraham. He was faithful, sure Abraham had his issues too, but come on......Jacob outright deceived. Then I remember what Israel means, "Struggles with God." And I am somewhat comforted. So.. God's people, God's society, the people that He wants to use to bring all nations to Himself, the people that the whole world will watch to see the glory of God, is called "Struggles with God." Not The Perfect Nation, not the Holy of Holies, Not the nation that Walked hand in hand with God and skipped into the Sunset, but Struggles with God. Israel did have their struggles with God, they rejected him, they looked to other places to be provided for, the worshiped other Gods, and yet God never gave up on His people and the idea that all the nations would be blessed because of Israel. I guess there is hope for me..... I've been struggling with God again....Who he has made me to be, the things he has called me to, who He is, will He provide, I look to so many other places for fulfillment, and yet maybe God can still use me. I'm still not I get why choose his people to come from named after a deceiver like Jacob, but I am thankful, because today it has given me hope.